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Havoc's Story #350928
06/27/19 05:49 PM
06/27/19 05:49 PM
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 11,761
Los Lunas, NM
Kayos Offline OP

Can't Figure Tech Stuff Out
Kayos  Offline OP

Can't Figure Tech Stuff Out

Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 11,761
Los Lunas, NM
Havoc was always a pain in the butt. He came that way. High drive, leaky drive, excitable. He never quit. He was always ready to go or work or whatever. He wailed when he was excited.

He always stressed at the vet but never misbehaved.

He was a loyal protector. He would do anything for me. He was very bonded to the runaway ex-husband and I think losing Havoc was losing the last real link I had with the runaway. To this day I do not know why my husband left the marriage so it has been hard to move on. Losing Havoc was extra tough because of that. Havoc himself never really recovered from this abandonment. I know dogs live in the present but Havoc was depressed for awhile and I thought I would lose him last year. He never really got over it.


Havoc was not the first animal I have had to euthanize and he won't be the last. But his passing was tough, tougher than needed. I feel like I failed him.


His back end was pretty much shot. He stumbled when he walked. He fell on steps. He shifted weight back and forth on his rear legs, he struggled to get up and down. But still he wanted to go with me everywhere.


On Sunday the 16th he fell in the yard and could not get up. When I got him up he was crying. He could ;put no weight on his right rear leg. Later in the day he was able to put it down and put a little weight on it..


I made my decision that day. He was a bit better on Monday and Tuesday and I almost cancelled. I should have cancelled. But I was afraid. Afraid he would not be able to get up and afraid I would not be able to get him up. So I took him.


I had established with this clinic in January when I bought my house. Havoc had been seen there twice by one of the vets. That vet was not there on Tuesday so a vet we did not know did the euthanasia. It was awful. I was upset and as a result so was Havoc. I was holding him and did not realize they were not pre-sedating. When they finally pre-sedated, they blew the veins in his rear legs. Now Havoc was beginning to panic. They hurt him and scared him needlessly. They finally got a vein and were able to perform the euthanasia. He died very hard, he cried. I cried. I'm still crying.


It was so traumatic for him and as a result more traumatic for me then needed. I cannot get his last minutes out of my head. I should have waited. I failed him.


His ashes came back yesterday and I told the clinic to mail them as I had no intention of going in there again. They said they would have to get a shipping cost and charge me shipping before they would mail them. I told her I did not care what it cost. I called them back later as a friend was going to go them for me. I have to pick them up at her house later today.


The office manager did ask what happened that traumatized me so badly and they did apologize at botching this. But I still can't go in there. I failed my dog.


Kathy

PAM, URO3, UCD, UACH Tidmores Rising Star Lydia "Mayhem" CD,BN,RE,AX,AJP,OFP,P1J,CA,DJ,HT,TKN,TC,CGCU 4/4/12

Lucky, Wolf, Max, Kayos, Havoc - gone not forgotten. gsdhalo
Re: Havoc's Story [Re: Kayos] #350929
06/27/19 06:44 PM
06/27/19 06:44 PM
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 9,095
Wisconsin
Wisc.Tiger_Val Offline
Member First - Owner Second "The Watcher"
Wisc.Tiger_Val  Offline
Member First - Owner Second "The Watcher"

Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 9,095
Wisconsin
Kathy, you did not fail Havoc the incompetent Vet at a practice that you had been to before and had no problems failed Havoc. You could not have foreseen that a licensed Vet who you pay for their expertise would do such an incompetent job.

Please do not feel that you failed Havoc.


Val da Tiger

Fuzzybutt the cat.
Neilla the Big White puppy.

RIP Cheyenne - AKA: Digger, CheyChey Girl, Cheyenne Large and In charge. 2/16/02 - 2/27/16
RIP Raya - AKA: Raz-a, Ray a Sunshine, RayBestos, the little one, Silly Girl. 9/21/05 - 6/27/14
RIP Lakota - AKA: Bubba, Big Boy, BooBoo (the other part of the Binky and BooBoo team). 1/19/03-9/19/2011
RIP DeeDee - AKA: DD Poo, Little Bit, Binky (part of the Binky and Booboo team) 6/23/02-6/20/11
Re: Havoc's Story [Re: Wisc.Tiger_Val] #350930
06/27/19 08:27 PM
06/27/19 08:27 PM
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,190
S
Shilohsmom Offline
Pooh-Bah
Shilohsmom  Offline
Pooh-Bah
S

Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,190
Kathy, I am so very sorry for what you and Havoc had to go through. You did not fail him. I know you see it that way now, but you did not fail him. You were there every moment until the end doing what you thought was right for him. My heart goes out to you. hugging


Rosa

Proud Mom to Kody and Sasha
and never to be forgotten, Shiloh, Shoshi and Eli
Every dog deserves to have a human that thinks its the greatest dog that ever lived!
Re: Havoc's Story [Re: Kayos] #350931
06/27/19 09:47 PM
06/27/19 09:47 PM
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 11,761
Los Lunas, NM
Kayos Offline OP

Can't Figure Tech Stuff Out
Kayos  Offline OP

Can't Figure Tech Stuff Out

Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 11,761
Los Lunas, NM
His ashes are home. A friend just delivered them.


Kathy

PAM, URO3, UCD, UACH Tidmores Rising Star Lydia "Mayhem" CD,BN,RE,AX,AJP,OFP,P1J,CA,DJ,HT,TKN,TC,CGCU 4/4/12

Lucky, Wolf, Max, Kayos, Havoc - gone not forgotten. gsdhalo
Re: Havoc's Story [Re: Kayos] #350932
06/27/19 09:51 PM
06/27/19 09:51 PM
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,190
S
Shilohsmom Offline
Pooh-Bah
Shilohsmom  Offline
Pooh-Bah
S

Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,190
So glad he's home hugging


Rosa

Proud Mom to Kody and Sasha
and never to be forgotten, Shiloh, Shoshi and Eli
Every dog deserves to have a human that thinks its the greatest dog that ever lived!
Re: Havoc's Story [Re: Kayos] #350933
06/28/19 01:24 AM
06/28/19 01:24 AM
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,844
Mary Jane Online content
Carpal Tunnel
Mary Jane  Online Content
Carpal Tunnel

Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,844
Nothing can change the intensity of your loss right now. In a while you will be clear that 11 years of bonding and striving and life are the real story of you and Havoc.

Nonetheless, the performance by the vet is shameful.

Mary Jane

Re: Havoc's Story [Re: Kayos] #350935
06/28/19 03:14 AM
06/28/19 03:14 AM
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,724
SeanRescueMom Offline
Carpal Tunnel
SeanRescueMom  Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,724
I'm so terribly sorry for the heinous experience Havoc and you had at the vet. I hope this will not erase the wonderful and loyal memories you had of your sweet boy. I'm glad he's at home with you now. hug


Sean - 1998/2014
If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart I'll stay there forever.
Carleton DOB unknown
Neely - 2003/2015
Gizmo -2008/2011
Neeko -1991/2005
Re: Havoc's Story [Re: Kayos] #350939
06/28/19 02:58 PM
06/28/19 02:58 PM
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,953
M
middleofnowhere Offline
Carpal Tunnel
middleofnowhere  Offline
Carpal Tunnel
M

Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,953
Oh Kathy, This was so so unfair to you and him. The decision weighs hard I think under the most carefully done procedure - to have something so gut wrenching for both of you --- it's just needless. Office manager be damned, a vet needs to grovel significantly but that wouldn't make it right.

I've found different dogs carry different significances in my life. It seems from what you post that Havoc's decline and death is pulling you to places that offer more pain. May good memories offer comfort and release for you.

I'm sorry that his death went this way to top off a series of tough situations and hard circumstances.

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