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Lets talk about Kody #350365
03/15/19 02:57 AM
03/15/19 02:57 AM
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Shilohsmom Offline OP
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Kody will be two at the end of June. I haven't wanted to say anything but I think its time that I do. Some of his behavior really concerns me. He just has all these phobias. Half the time I don't even know what he's afraid of. For example, all the sudden he'll hunker down (like he's done something and is afraid of me) and go right to his crate where he stays until he decides to come out. Believe you me, I know for a fact that nothing has ever happened to my boy. And there is no reason on the face of this earth that he should ever fear me.

I'll poke my head around the corner by him and tell him its ok and that I love him. I've also worked with treats and got him out that way. But even then he's truly scared. He'll sit in front of me and wrap his neck around mine, pushing his head into the back of mine. He scoots so close to me that his body is just pushing into mine. It's the saddest thing I've ever witnessed. I hold him, sometimes rocking him from side to side. Every once in awhile I'll offer a treat, he may or may not take it, but is quick to putting his head back around my neck. We sit there for as long as he needs and eventually get up and he's fine.


Rosa

Proud Mom to Kody and Sasha
and never to be forgotten, Shiloh, Shoshi and Eli
Every dog deserves to have a human that thinks its the greatest dog that ever lived!
Re: Lets talk about Kody [Re: Shilohsmom] #350366
03/15/19 03:10 AM
03/15/19 03:10 AM
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con't. He does this anytime I go near the grooming supplies. I've tried moving them, didn't matter. He's terrified of being groomed. I would so love to spend more time on that coat, but every time he sees the comb or brush he goes into a panic and only wants to be held. Nothing has ever happened while grooming him. Thankfully, he's got an easy coat but I'd love to be able to groom him more and frankly he deserves to be groomed better.

I've tried just showing the comb or brush to him while he lays there, right away he panic's and needs to be held. I tried breaking it down to build up his comfort level, but we can never get past the first step. Now I have him sit there and try one comb and giving him a really good treat. He wants nothing to do with the treat, he only wants to be held. After a few minutes, I comb a little and offer more treats. Eventually he's able to take the treats and settle some. We've been stuck at this stage for a few weeks now, any suggestions on how to help him further to get beyond all the fear. It breaks my heart to know that he is that scared.


Rosa

Proud Mom to Kody and Sasha
and never to be forgotten, Shiloh, Shoshi and Eli
Every dog deserves to have a human that thinks its the greatest dog that ever lived!
Re: Lets talk about Kody [Re: Shilohsmom] #350367
03/15/19 03:25 AM
03/15/19 03:25 AM
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Con't. Sorry, my computers acting up so I'm posting so I don't loose all this.

Other that the fears (and even with the fears) he's a great dog. I love him to pieces and we have a lot of fun together. I had noticed that Sasha was a little overwhelming at play time when I'm involved. For example, Kody wasn't able to go get the ball at all because Sasha would always get it. So each day I rotate who's in the crate and it's one on one play with the other.

I have also taught Kody and Sasha to only chase and retrieve THEIR toy. Sasha has her ball and Kody has his special squeeky toy, one of the best things I've ever taught my dogs. This way everyone has fun.

Since I mentioned training, Kody is pretty well trained. He knows all the basic's and we even have a little dance routine we do. The boys smart.

For the most part the leash aggression issues is under control. He does amazingly well now, but every once in awhile theres that dog... But even when he does go off, he's much easier to redirect. I'm really pleased with him on that, but know its something I always have to work on.


Rosa

Proud Mom to Kody and Sasha
and never to be forgotten, Shiloh, Shoshi and Eli
Every dog deserves to have a human that thinks its the greatest dog that ever lived!
Re: Lets talk about Kody [Re: Shilohsmom] #350368
03/15/19 03:47 AM
03/15/19 03:47 AM
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Ok for timing. He's always been terrified of the grooming, but the hunkering down has gotten worse since Eli passed.

I forgot to mention. I'm doing tons of positive reinforcement. Throughout the day I'll call him to me, have him sit and give him a treat. I'm trying to build up his confidence. I work on training with both my pups nearly every day. It's just amazing how much they are able to learn.

We have an amazing relationship. Now he's laying at my feet. He lays at my feet whenever I'm on the computer. Its something I taught to him when he was young and am teaching it to Sasha now too. I just love having them close and its like they have a job to do when I'm sitting here.

So what do you think is the problem here? Most of the time Kody is a happy puppy. He's great. Kody use to always sleep in his crate at night. After Eli passed I encouraged Kody to sleep with Sasha and me. His crate is in the hallway right outside my bedroom just so you'll know. But I'm thrilled to say he now sleeps in the bedroom and sometimes even on the bed. We have a wonderful bond, why can't he trust me more?


Rosa

Proud Mom to Kody and Sasha
and never to be forgotten, Shiloh, Shoshi and Eli
Every dog deserves to have a human that thinks its the greatest dog that ever lived!
Re: Lets talk about Kody [Re: Shilohsmom] #350369
03/15/19 04:12 AM
03/15/19 04:12 AM
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Oh Rosa, you did ask....

And here's my unvarnished thoughts

1. Quit cuddling this dog
2. Get him off the bed

This crap is confusing your dog.

And do not play fetch or other stuff with both dogs. Give each dog their own time. That doesn't mean they are not out together - it means you don't do the fetch stuff with both dogs out.

But overall, I'd change my response to Kodi. No more "poor momma's boy" crap. It's totally screwing up your dog. That means also quit the coaxing - just back off. Much more matteroffact (if you can ever be matteroffact now is THE time to do it) instead of the "woe" stuff. Rosa, really, I can hear you cooing and coaxing from here. I have to tell a lot of vet staff not to coo at my dogs because it really messes them up. No more baby talk, no more coaxing stuff. Back off. Really. Back off.

So what I think is the problem is the handler. (It's usually the handler.) My problems with my dogs are handler errors.

Re: Lets talk about Kody [Re: Shilohsmom] #350371
03/15/19 06:19 AM
03/15/19 06:19 AM
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Vancouver Island, BC
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I agree with Middle, you need to cut out the cuddling and sweet talking.

In Kody's mind he is nervous about his environment and you bending down to hug and talk to him is not telling him there is nothing to fear. What he is thinking is, "Man this must really be bad, even mom is scared." He wants someone to stand up and take control, be that confident leader. Right now he doesn't have anyone he can trust in scary situations.

One thing Yukon has taught me is that dogs really don't care about what we have to say. I started out with Yukon (and past dogs) yapping away to him all the time. Yukon never responded well. He would much prefer I shut up and show him what I want him to do, either with hand signals or whole body language.

Ignore Kody, walk away from him and engage with him in something else, like going outside to play or do some in house training, even if that means putting on his leash.

As for the grooming, same thing, say nothing and just groom him. He can get all the praise once it's over.


Anita & 11.5yr old Yukon

R.I.P Amber & Cisco:
"Goodbye may seem forever
Farewell is like the end
But in my heart's a memory
And there you'll always be."
Re: Lets talk about Kody [Re: Wolfie] #350373
03/15/19 08:46 PM
03/15/19 08:46 PM
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I guess I could try that. My concern is fear is a feeling and that's something that needs to be addressed with care and understanding. On the other hand I don't want this to continue and what I'm doing doesn't seem to be helping much. I'm going to try grooming him tonight so I'll let you know how that goes.


Rosa

Proud Mom to Kody and Sasha
and never to be forgotten, Shiloh, Shoshi and Eli
Every dog deserves to have a human that thinks its the greatest dog that ever lived!
Re: Lets talk about Kody [Re: Shilohsmom] #350374
03/15/19 10:34 PM
03/15/19 10:34 PM
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Posts: 9,095
Wisconsin
Wisc.Tiger_Val Offline
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Rosa, care and understanding for dogs is different than humans. I see the lack of enthusiasm for grooming as more of an avoidance than a fear, but I might be wrong.

We are not saying to reprimand or anything near that, just do things in a calm matter of fact attitude. We are going to groom, even if you only get 2 brush strokes in then I would party and give a treat.

Yes, each dog needs their own training/play time. Their together time is their time to be dogs as long as it doesn't get out of hand.

Their can be times to understand fears, but I think more of noises or storms.

Yes he has had a lot of loss recently, but you need to be the Alpha female and run the pack. He misses the alpha male because he thinks he needs to step up and he isn't ready for that or it isn't his personality to do so. So you need to be the calm strong alpha for the pack.


Val da Tiger

Fuzzybutt the cat.
Neilla the Big White puppy.

RIP Cheyenne - AKA: Digger, CheyChey Girl, Cheyenne Large and In charge. 2/16/02 - 2/27/16
RIP Raya - AKA: Raz-a, Ray a Sunshine, RayBestos, the little one, Silly Girl. 9/21/05 - 6/27/14
RIP Lakota - AKA: Bubba, Big Boy, BooBoo (the other part of the Binky and BooBoo team). 1/19/03-9/19/2011
RIP DeeDee - AKA: DD Poo, Little Bit, Binky (part of the Binky and Booboo team) 6/23/02-6/20/11
Re: Lets talk about Kody [Re: Wisc.Tiger_Val] #350379
03/16/19 11:06 PM
03/16/19 11:06 PM
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Originally Posted by Wisc.Tiger_Val
Rosa, care and understanding for dogs is different than humans. I see the lack of enthusiasm for grooming as more of an avoidance than a fear, but I might be wrong.

We are not saying to reprimand or anything near that, just do things in a calm matter of fact attitude. We are going to groom, even if you only get 2 brush strokes in then I would party and give a treat.

Yes, each dog needs their own training/play time. Their together time is their time to be dogs as long as it doesn't get out of hand.

Their can be times to understand fears, but I think more of noises or storms.

Yes he has had a lot of loss recently, but you need to be the Alpha female and run the pack. He misses the alpha male because he thinks he needs to step up and he isn't ready for that or it isn't his personality to do so. So you need to be the calm strong alpha for the pack.


Thanks Val. No worries, I would never be harsh with my pups, its not necessary. I think your especially right when you write that he misses the alpha male and is just not sure of his role now.

I just have not had a dog experience fear like this.


Rosa

Proud Mom to Kody and Sasha
and never to be forgotten, Shiloh, Shoshi and Eli
Every dog deserves to have a human that thinks its the greatest dog that ever lived!
Re: Lets talk about Kody [Re: Shilohsmom] #350403
03/20/19 11:38 PM
03/20/19 11:38 PM
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I just did a really good groom of Kody this morning. It seemed to help that I sat in my chair and leaned over him to do it as opposed to me sitting on the floor with him. He didn't freak out at all. I was just matter of fact doing it but he did good. The difference seems to be sitting on the floor or in a chair. On the floor its really easy to get into his fear position, but when I was sitting up he couldn't really do that. A couple of times he gave me that concerned look but I continued and he did great.


Rosa

Proud Mom to Kody and Sasha
and never to be forgotten, Shiloh, Shoshi and Eli
Every dog deserves to have a human that thinks its the greatest dog that ever lived!
Re: Lets talk about Kody [Re: Shilohsmom] #350406
03/21/19 12:05 AM
03/21/19 12:05 AM
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 9,095
Wisconsin
Wisc.Tiger_Val Offline
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Rosa, when you are in the chair you are above Kody, when you are on the floor you are at the same level. He needs the Alpha and leadership right now.

I am glad you are seeing an improvement. Keep up the good work.


Val da Tiger

Fuzzybutt the cat.
Neilla the Big White puppy.

RIP Cheyenne - AKA: Digger, CheyChey Girl, Cheyenne Large and In charge. 2/16/02 - 2/27/16
RIP Raya - AKA: Raz-a, Ray a Sunshine, RayBestos, the little one, Silly Girl. 9/21/05 - 6/27/14
RIP Lakota - AKA: Bubba, Big Boy, BooBoo (the other part of the Binky and BooBoo team). 1/19/03-9/19/2011
RIP DeeDee - AKA: DD Poo, Little Bit, Binky (part of the Binky and Booboo team) 6/23/02-6/20/11
Re: Lets talk about Kody [Re: Wisc.Tiger_Val] #350407
03/21/19 12:33 AM
03/21/19 12:33 AM
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Originally Posted by Wisc.Tiger_Val
Rosa, when you are in the chair you are above Kody, when you are on the floor you are at the same level. He needs the Alpha and leadership right now.

I am glad you are seeing an improvement. Keep up the good work.


Got it!! Its great to see improvement.


Rosa

Proud Mom to Kody and Sasha
and never to be forgotten, Shiloh, Shoshi and Eli
Every dog deserves to have a human that thinks its the greatest dog that ever lived!
Re: Lets talk about Kody [Re: Shilohsmom] #350415
03/21/19 04:33 PM
03/21/19 04:33 PM
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Mary Jane Offline
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I'm so glad that you've found a way to fully support your relationship with Kody and still tackle the grooming glitch.

I'm so entranced with Nova, sometimes it's hard for me to stand back and really look at what is going on.

Anyway, I guess Kody is even more handsome today with his perfect coat smile.

MJ

PS

I know that the calm leadership ideal extends through the whole person-dog relationship-but it is an "ideal" for me, not a reality.

Last edited by Mary Jane; 03/21/19 04:43 PM. Reason: clarity
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