I heard from a little bird that you got a new girl - her heart is broken too - like everyone is saying, you can heal together.

She may never be "normal" but you don't know. Layers will peel off, and in about a year, you will see the dog you will have, though she will always continue to grow.

I do a lot of leaving alone for about 2 weeks. I do my thing, I let them do theirs, they initiate contact (or not). I do a lot of exercise time with them, in the yard so they can really run it out (fenced so that is a help). That is where I engage them most - where there is room for them to get away as needed. Lots of times this leads to fun, but the goal for me is to just watch them, and let them watch me. If they progress quickly, excellent, if not, whatever! But I am not going to take them places or do things that might set them up where they won't succeed, and the reason they won't succeed is that I don't know them well enough/can't read them quickly enough, and they don't know me or trust me. Some dogs can do that quickly, others cannot - so I wait and see how they are. She is probably a dog that is going to need that time.

I especially leave them alone when they eat - they have a crate, often covered with a sheet - to eat in so that way they have their space, and the crate is associated with a good thing.

I don't set goals - my goal is to get up in the morning with the dog, and from there, it's all a bonus. If they do things, great, if not, we already met our goal, so no losses. If it is a dog I am going to have for a lifetime, no need to rush it. If it's a dog I am going to foster, if I do rush it, I could make it worse/harder for them.

I do NILIF - in terms of making them do to get - it's different for every dog, maybe they need to glance at me, maybe it's a sit, whatever the behavior is that they can achieve at first is what it takes to get something. It's just to help give them the structure needed to relax.

So mine is a lazy way - unless there is an immediate problem that has to be addressed - we do nothing except put structure in place, move in the yard with no distractions or worries of what if this happens (because nothing is going to happen), and letting them have the peace of mind that this person is going to let me be - while I eat, explore, etc.

Congratulations!!!

All of that makes a lot of sense Jean!

Annie, how are things going?

Jean, that was good to read, I really enjoyed that. I can imagine that intuitive Annie and Cara are going to heal and thrive together. Love, understanding, and patience are such healing things. Cara is so very fortunate to have you, Annie!

What wonerful advice - thank you Jean. We are taking it slow and just getting to know each other. I have a tiny garden so we do go out - same walk every day into a lovely wood with a stream, no one there but us. I introduced her too my lovely dog walker yesterday - she has 4 GS and is an experienced dog trainer as well - she will need to start walking with her in a couple of weeks when my job becomes busy. Today she came for coffee, next week she will join us on our walks - slowly slowly!

I have ignore her most of the time in the house and while she is still really clingy she is getting better - i went out and left her with a friend yesterday, she cried for a couple of minutes then went to sleep. I gnored her when I came back but she didnt go crazy and was lovely and calm.

She is more of a protective dog than Chamsa was (she knew my job was to protect her not the other way around) and will bark when someone comes to the door but again is calm once they come in.

Health wise she is doing great - we went to the vet yesterday and got the all clear to begin weaning her off the steriods. I intend to feed her raw so have started to add one table spoon of green tripe to her fish and sweet potatoes - she looked so happy when she tasted it.

So all in all a pretty good week - she is a beautiful dog and a great companion allready. Thanks everyone for your help and support

Such a lovely beginning to a beautiful love story! Cara's delight in her scruptuous green tripe is so dear. May your dogwalker and Cara form a comfortable bond, too, so that her excursions while you're at work will be pleasant and interesting for her. Things truly sound off to a wonderful start. I love that Cara's personality is beginning to be revealed, and that the two of you will grow stronger together in your bond of love and mutual support. May your new job be fulfilling and enjoyable for you, Annie! I will be continuing to send positive energy for you and Cara.

Annie, we haven't had an update in awhile, how is your girl?

You know I was wondering too......

Please, Annie, when you might have time, an update on your lovely, wonderful Cara might be nice? Grimmi and I are sending you both our best well-wishes!