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Re: After the Sale [Re: middleofnowhere] #281373
05/02/13 02:55 AM
05/02/13 02:55 AM
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Wisconsin
Wisc.Tiger_Val Offline
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Just a question to some.

Say that you and your other half just weren't working together, would you get a divorce or would you just make each other miserable for the rest of your lives?

You have a great dog, looks, health, drives, but for some reason you two can not make a good team or match-- would you keep the dog and make both or one of you miserable for the rest of your lives?

Dogs have personalities just like humans, some times things are a good or great match other times not.

I have rehomed one dog, nice little lab mix, we just were not the right home for him. I found him the right home with a single mom with a young son who needed a buddy. From the moment the dog met this boy I knew they were right together, the boy adored the dog and the dog was just soaking up the love and making a best friend for life.


Val da Tiger

Fuzzybutt the cat.
Neilla the Big White puppy.

RIP Cheyenne - AKA: Digger, CheyChey Girl, Cheyenne Large and In charge. 2/16/02 - 2/27/16
RIP Raya - AKA: Raz-a, Ray a Sunshine, RayBestos, the little one, Silly Girl. 9/21/05 - 6/27/14
RIP Lakota - AKA: Bubba, Big Boy, BooBoo (the other part of the Binky and BooBoo team). 1/19/03-9/19/2011
RIP DeeDee - AKA: DD Poo, Little Bit, Binky (part of the Binky and Booboo team) 6/23/02-6/20/11
Re: After the Sale [Re: Wisc.Tiger_Val] #281380
05/02/13 06:25 AM
05/02/13 06:25 AM
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Northern CA
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I think that the couple analogy is not as accurate since the dog is a dependent. I don't like the "dog is your kid" analogy, but that I probably closer in my mind.

I think there are some exceptions where the dog is truly happier. I think often that's used to make the human feel better when it's not necearily true. I do think in some instances it is true. And I think we've seen instances where we wanted someone to give their dog upp because it was in an unhealthy environment (I can think of one instance right now, not an active member of the forum).


MaxaL (aka LisaT)

Jazmine, mini-mix, 10/18/2011
Max-n-Indy
Max, 5/2001-2/2012, RIP my partner, my Regal Boy
Indy, 5/1997-10/2010, RIP my friend, my teacher

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Re: After the Sale [Re: MaxaLisa] #281414
05/02/13 03:01 PM
05/02/13 03:01 PM
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Mary Jane Online content
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I guess it's not as simple as I would like to believe. My first response is that because the dog has no say in the matter, once you bring him home you have a responsibility to care for him. If I had a dog that I didn't mesh with, I really wouldn't know how to find the right home for him. I would be sitting on the other side of the room wondering what in the world I could do. I couldn't give him up.

Adopting an adult from a good rescue really answers a need for people like me. Wolf's foster made his nature very clear to us before we adopted him. (We got practically no information about Mars but we got lucky.)

I would love to hear more comments.

MJ

Re: After the Sale [Re: Mary Jane] #281503
05/03/13 10:51 AM
05/03/13 10:51 AM
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Belfast, NY
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Do you guys mean a situation where the dog sort of, doesn't "like" me? Is that what you mean by not meshing? I guess I need a definition of what that means.

I can't really imagine a dog actively disliking me (that sounds really arrogant typed out, but I just mean that dogs are so very generous in their affection). And I can't imagine me bringing a dog into my house that I wasn't predisposed to liking. I would never adopt a pug, for instance, just because I find their looks off-putting.

I might get a dog who misbehaved a lot, but isn't that just a training issue? So I guess I would manage what I could and work harder on my own interactions with the dog.

I could totally see a new dog not meshing with my current dogs. I think if I got another female, Rosa would have a real problem with her. The new dog would have to be willing to let Rosa be the boss. And that is exactly why, even thought I would LOVE a new puppy, we are not getting another dog until one of our two dogs passes on. Which sucks, but we are not willing to take the chance that it might not work out between them.


Leah
Re: After the Sale [Re: Good_Karma] #281591
05/04/13 08:28 AM
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I doubt that I can give you a better definition. Just think of someone that is an all around OK person - but there is a disconnect between you and this person. They aren't anyone you would hangout with individually - you don't disagree radically or anything - you just don't have a lot to hangout about - you just don't mesh.

Re: After the Sale [Re: middleofnowhere] #281612
05/04/13 02:18 PM
05/04/13 02:18 PM
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I'll admit there were times when Dolly's presence in my home made me resent her adoption. We kept an open dialogue with the rescue for a year so we could return her if necessary. It was overwhelming for me. The drool isn't bad, it's the jowls that hold dirt and food and end up on the floor. She is big, awkward, has no sense of personal space, the list goes on. At the end of the day, we made a commitment to her, so I deal with it, she makes dh happy, makes Jess happy, makes Oz happy and at the end of the day, my conscience will not allow me to return her and think of her languishing away in a kennel at the rescue or adopted to someone else, given how hard giants are to adopt out. So I scrub my floors daily - I'd probably do it anyways, so I vacuum daily, maybe if I didn't hate color in my home and didn't paint everything white and beige I wouldn't wash the walls so much.
I say those things coming from someone who will always adopt second-hand dogs. I'm not going to go to a breeder, at the time of Dolly's adoption there were two dogs in contention, I needed my passport updated to go get the Scotch Collie pup, but by the time that came back, the pup could be vac'd to cross the border, not exactly a big deal, but we went with the rescue and as hard as the adjustment period was and as much as she drove me up the wall, I've learned a lot owning this dog - patience and tolerance being just 2 things.
Now if the dog was aggressive, didn't mesh with my current dogs, if I did anything besides being a pet home with my dogs, I might feel differently. Oz made the mistake of pointing one time at ducks at a park, dh took him hunting, first shot, Oz shot out of the blind back to the truck. Dog pissed himself. If Trent hunted more, maybe we'd need a trained lab, but for now... And maybe if the dog wouldn't retrieve, we would have to return it. That is not the case with us right now.
So I understand the variables and this is a grey question really, I can only answer on what I would do now, a commitment is for life.


Patti loved by Ozzy (proud to be a Heinz 57) and Dolly (weighs more than most people, St. Bernard)...
Sandi's waiting at the Bridge
Re: After the Sale [Re: middleofnowhere] #281613
05/04/13 02:25 PM
05/04/13 02:25 PM
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Central Florida
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I've had this kind of happen to me, except I was on the receiving end of the dog's affection.

I used to dog sit for a friend's GSD ... he was a young puppy the first time he stayed at my house. The dog and I were closely bonded despite the fact he was only with me for a few days/maybe a week at a time whenever his owner went out of town for work. It was embarrassingly obvious to both his owner and me that he was much closer to me, didn't want to go home with her, always raced into my house when he visited. I treated him like I treated my dogs and didn't attempt to dissuade him from being close to me (even had I wanted to, I'm not sure I could have done it). The dog was purchased for SAR and became an accomplished cadaver search dog so even had the owner wanted to give him to me it couldn't have worked out.


Gayle
Faith, Ledgie & Scooby
My Bridge Kids: Andy, Abbey, Tasha, Tex, Echo, Yukon, JR, Too, Niki, Bo, Ringer, Kelly, Honey, Mac, Slider & Bruiser
Re: After the Sale [Re: middleofnowhere] #281705
05/05/13 09:10 PM
05/05/13 09:10 PM
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Belfast, NY
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Originally Posted By: middleofnowhere
I doubt that I can give you a better definition. Just think of someone that is an all around OK person - but there is a disconnect between you and this person. They aren't anyone you would hangout with individually - you don't disagree radically or anything - you just don't have a lot to hangout about - you just don't mesh.


Well, it is probably my lack of experience with dogs (Niko and Rosa are the only dogs I have ever lived with my whole life), but I just can't see not being able to form a bond with a dog. Humans, sure I suppose you can meet someone who is just the opposite of everything you are and it's a very uncomfortable thing to spend time with them. But dogs... I guess I just don't see that happening.

Again, I am probably just inexperienced. Just because I have not encountered it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist.


Leah
Re: After the Sale [Re: Good_Karma] #281708
05/05/13 10:04 PM
05/05/13 10:04 PM
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Northern CA
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I think it depends on how far the human is willing to go, to some degree. The dog may require certain actitivities, or a way of interaction, and the human may or may not be able to do that, or may or may not be willing.

I agree about the bond thing Leah, there really is nearly always a way. I can see differences in activity level maybe. Trainers often loook for certain dogs with certai temperaments to work with them during clase for example.

But I am one that believes in commitment, so it would have to be extremely dramatic for me to rehome a dog. I was told many times to rehome Max when he first got here, and he totoally turned my life upside down with, initially, his training isue, then later health on top of that. Some people won't do that for a dog. Heck, I know people that won't do that even if their own kids are in trouble...

But if you have a working dog at heart, for example, and you can't provide that, and they are happy working with another person, I can see that being a positive move perhaps. But I've seen that backfired, an the dog was miserable.


MaxaL (aka LisaT)

Jazmine, mini-mix, 10/18/2011
Max-n-Indy
Max, 5/2001-2/2012, RIP my partner, my Regal Boy
Indy, 5/1997-10/2010, RIP my friend, my teacher

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Re: After the Sale [Re: MaxaLisa] #282028
05/09/13 01:54 PM
05/09/13 01:54 PM
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Los Lunas, NM
Kayos Offline OP

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I have been out of town on vacation and really had not checked in much last few days. Some really good thoughts here.

I think every dog we have bonds with us and us with them in different ways. We all love our children in different ways too. Some kids are more difficult to deal with too but it is hard to send them back to the 'breeder' or rescue.

That staement I made on the OP was a statement my husband made in reference to Lydia. Despite her driving my bat nuts sometimes, and despite my occassional ambivalence about her, she stays. She clearly just adores me (arrogant?? LOL!). I think she would be crushed to not be with us as she is such a sensitive dog. She is also a dog that could easily be abused mentally and physically in a poor home. At the end of the day she is ours and we will put up with her. She is my difficult child. Not bad, not nuts, just "difficult".

We were out of town last week and the dogs boarded at the vets. Lydia was spayed and xrayed at the same time. My vet said this dog is in the absolute best home she could be in with her personality quirks. She takes a lot of patience to deal with on a daily basis.

She is a horrid cat chaser. Every dog I have had has attempted to hassle the cats but out grew it with redirection and mild correction by about 6 months. Not Lydia. Does not matter what we do, she is right back at it seconds later. Same thing with the litter boxes. Last week she chewed a hole in the drywall. She had not chewed anything in months. So she is back under constant supervision at 13 months. By this age every dog I have had has earned limited house privileges. Not Lydia. She may never have any free house privliges. She is just an active, constant in motion and in trouble type dog. But she is funny too, loves to climb in the shower with me (what a mess to clean up). Quite a vibrant personality really.

Last night we went to agility class and did some light work as she is still recovering from her spay. Our instructor just loves her in your face attitude. Said she is a little streamlined speedster.

I may choke the life out her but she will stay with us - for better or worse.

BTW her hips and elbows are very good, she is very sound. The mental quirkiness is going away too. She is getting more out going and I think will end up a pretty stable dog. I just don't need to choke her first. LOL!!!


Kathy

PAM, URO3, UCD, UACH Tidmores Rising Star Lydia "Mayhem" CD,BN,RE,AX,AJP,OFP,P1J,CA,DJ,HT,TKN,TC,CGCU, RATN 4/4/12
Jeli, (Pembroke Welsh corgi) CGC, RATI 5/13/19

Lucky, Wolf, Max, Kayos, Havoc - gone not forgotten. gsdhalo
Re: After the Sale [Re: Kayos] #282043
05/09/13 03:08 PM
05/09/13 03:08 PM
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Alexandria, NH
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laugh Lydia and Ciara sound a bit alike. Ciara still doesn't have free house privileges when we're both gone from the house. In fact, last Thursday, my DH went out of town. I stopped by the house right after work and let them both out, then had to run down to the grocery store to pick up a few things. I was gone an hour at most. Ciara had been in her kennel for about 4 hours with a pillow before I got home from work and hadn't bothered it. By the time I got back from the grocery store, she had torn open the pillow and shredded the foam pillow inside. I'm thinking she didn't want me going out without her.

She still goes over the fence and I think at least one motivator is cats wandering the neighborhood. We're in the process of putting up a taller fence to try and control this. But I'm not sure, we won't just end up teaching her to jump higher.

In spite of this, she's not going anywhere. She's my cuddle buddy on the couch and keeps me busy getting her exercised to keep her out of trouble, which means I'm getting exercise, too.


Johanna

Ciara(aka Ciara Belle, Black Devil)

RIP Caleb, Aodhán, Rica, Max, Kelly - gone but never forgotten - forever in my heart
Re: After the Sale [Re: Kayos] #282450
05/13/13 02:36 PM
05/13/13 02:36 PM
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I have no issue with the statement. The phrase "we will do our best for him/her" to me also includes the possibility of selling or re-homing the dog to a more suitable home if that is best for the dog. It doesn't say "keep the dog under any circumstance."

Re: After the Sale [Re: Liesje] #282460
05/13/13 04:47 PM
05/13/13 04:47 PM
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Portland, Oregon
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I love the idea of a dog never going to another home, but I understand that simply isn't the way it is.

Perhaps it's my youth spent "in horses" that leads me to an ease with the fact that sometimes dogs and people just aren't a good match, or one 'out grows' the other.

My first horse was an Appy/TB who I loved more than anything in the world. He was seriously malnutritioned when we got him, the vet boarded him at his home over the winter and the next spring he was fat, sassy and the apple of my eye.

He and I went through 4-H together, went on uncountable rides in the mountains of NE Oregon, and were simply a young girl and her best friend.

We had bred my second horse, a purebred Appy and when that filly was born it was apparent that I had started to out grow him, not in size but in what I wanted to do with horses and our limited space we had.

And so with bittersweet emotions Blue was sold to a family and I moved on with Windy and her filly Missy.

It was HARD, really hard to say goodbye to Blue but it was what was best for all of us.

Does this translate directly to dogs? Perhaps not, but like I said earlier I think it's given me a sound perspective in the fact that what is right for me isn't always right for another.

Would Kaos be happier in another home? I don't think so. Could Kaos be doing many other things if she was in a different home? Most likely from what her litter mates are up to.
Now here's the key to that, the word happier. If she were sullen/etc then I would have to seriously think about if she was in an appropriate home - she is a working dog and this isn't a working home.

I think I've rambled enough...hopefully some part of that made sense rofl


Dante - March 8, 2004 - May 06, 2017
Kaos von Wolfstraum - Oct 31, 2011

My Blog: https://barbrambling.wordpress.com/
Re: After the Sale [Re: Barb E] #282512
05/14/13 02:28 PM
05/14/13 02:28 PM
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 11,815
Los Lunas, NM
Kayos Offline OP

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You always make good sense Barb. Kaos does not know she is not in a working home. Being your companion is her "work" and if you and she are happy, than that is all the work she needs.


Kathy

PAM, URO3, UCD, UACH Tidmores Rising Star Lydia "Mayhem" CD,BN,RE,AX,AJP,OFP,P1J,CA,DJ,HT,TKN,TC,CGCU, RATN 4/4/12
Jeli, (Pembroke Welsh corgi) CGC, RATI 5/13/19

Lucky, Wolf, Max, Kayos, Havoc - gone not forgotten. gsdhalo
Re: After the Sale [Re: Kayos] #282518
05/14/13 03:35 PM
05/14/13 03:35 PM
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Barb,
As you know, working dogs come with different levels of drive. Koas seems just right for you.

I used to worry about "wasting" an animal's abilities - horse, dog -- I could have done more with any one of them. But I didn't leave the dogs chained out or kenneled and only fed and watered. They got more than that. Kaos is not stuck in a kennel with limited interaction. She's happy with you and you with her. Sounds good to me.

Re: After the Sale [Re: middleofnowhere] #282543
05/14/13 07:33 PM
05/14/13 07:33 PM
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Belfast, NY
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I think the idea that your dog might be happier in another home is kind of a slippery slope. I mean, don't you think anyone could say that? How can we possibly know for certain that we are the best possible caretakers for an animal? I have no doubt that there are people who have more free time, have more money, better training skills, more patience, more enthusiasm, more everything, than I have. It's just not a healthy place to go with your mind. Rosa and Niko are stuck with me. laugh


Leah
Re: After the Sale [Re: Good_Karma] #282570
05/14/13 11:52 PM
05/14/13 11:52 PM
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Northern CA
MaxaLisa Offline

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Good point Leah smile


MaxaL (aka LisaT)

Jazmine, mini-mix, 10/18/2011
Max-n-Indy
Max, 5/2001-2/2012, RIP my partner, my Regal Boy
Indy, 5/1997-10/2010, RIP my friend, my teacher

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Re: After the Sale [Re: Kayos] #283165
05/22/13 06:01 PM
05/22/13 06:01 PM
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Northern, CA
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We got an 18 month old for just this reason. With 4 kids, and 3 other dogs, I could not have an "unknown quantity." We got him from a good breeder who knew and has had one main trainer who worked with him all 18 months. He still has adolescent growing to do, but he is really laid back and mellow. I could not handle a hyper dog or one that did not respond to positive forms of training. I am not good with punishment, so this dog has been raised from birth in a positive environment. I am not saying puppies are not FANTASTIC! They sure are. But as a new GSD owner, I am glad to have an older guy. wink


Mom to four awesome human kids, and my 5 furry ones:

Van - nearly 3 yrs old.
Daenerys (Dani)GSD, 1 yr
Mackie - Pomeranian, 14 years
Buddy - Chihuahua, 4 years
Pirate -Dachshund, 10 years
Callie - Long Haired Tortie Cat, 6 years
Re: After the Sale [Re: Good_Karma] #283397
05/24/13 01:21 PM
05/24/13 01:21 PM
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Liesje Offline
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Originally Posted By: Good_Karma
I think the idea that your dog might be happier in another home is kind of a slippery slope. I mean, don't you think anyone could say that? How can we possibly know for certain that we are the best possible caretakers for an animal?


We don't, that's the thing. Unless I am the one that has LIVED with the dog for years and have observed, if not experienced, the dynamic at home, I don't see it as my place to say where the dog really belongs. In general I think most dogs could be happy pretty much anywhere. Usually when I think a dog should be re-homed (either my own dog or a friend's dog that I know) it's more of a management issue, like a dog is not getting along with other dogs there, dog is biting kids and the owner is not capable of 100% confining the dog, etc. It's usually not an issue like a working dog "deserves" to be in a working home or something like that. I think even for most high drive dogs, activity is activity and they don't really care whether it's SchH vs flyball vs running several miles a day.

Re: After the Sale [Re: Good_Karma] #283450
05/24/13 09:01 PM
05/24/13 09:01 PM
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NE Ohio
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Originally Posted By: Good_Karma
I think the idea that your dog might be happier in another home is kind of a slippery slope. I mean, don't you think anyone could say that? How can we possibly know for certain that we are the best possible caretakers for an animal? I have no doubt that there are people who have more free time, have more money, better training skills, more patience, more enthusiasm, more everything, than I have. It's just not a healthy place to go with your mind. Rosa and Niko are stuck with me. laugh


Niko and Rosa BELONG with you. That is awesome. Now let's add a little life. Let's say your neighbor is 82 and has a schnauzer, a friendly old man that sometimes plays with Rosa and Niko -- yeah right? Well, just hypothetically. Well Erma (the old lady) is going into get her hip replaced and some reconstructive surgery in her back, and then will be going into a geriatric facility for intensive rehabilitation for a few months. And you agree to care for her dog for her until she gets out.

Let's say that was 8 months ago, and Erma has had a few strokes, and the little old man is now a regular, and Erma isn't going to be coming out of the home.

Now let's say your unmarried brother in law, God Forbid, dies and you had agreed at some point to take care of his dogs if anything should happen. He has 2 GSDs. Great dogs.

But now your house is teaming with dogs. And, unfortunately, you realise that Niko is not adjusting well the the male.

Suddenly your life, which has always included the dogs, and has always taken the dogs into consideration, well suddenly it revolves around the dogs. You are both getting up 2 hours early so that everyone can be exercised and fed and crated for the day. And someone has to come back at lunch time, becuase the old guy can't make it that long. No more stopping after work for anything because you have training classes with your brothers dogs, and everyone else will have to pee before they are left to their own divices for a few hours.

And then one day, you wake up as you are cooking dinner and you look over and there is Rosa with her head drooping, as she lies against the wall waiting for something.

Maybe all five dogs are better off with you than anywhere else. But maybe, just maybe there is a 70 year old lady that would just love to share your little old man's final years with him. And maybe a young couple down the block that always wanted to have German Sheperds would be perfect with your brother in law's dogs.

I think that when we go out looking for a dog, we ought to be thinking about it as an until-death-do-us-part thing. But I think that we shouldn't be so stuck on that that we keep every critter even if they are better off, we are better off, and the other person is better off if we give up a dog.

Last edited by Selzer; 05/24/13 09:02 PM.

Geriatric: Odessa
Seniors: Bear
Mature Adults: Hepzibah, Karma, Cujo 2
Adults: Ramona, Kojak
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by Islandgsds. 05/19/22 11:31 PM
Off again
by jarn. 05/05/22 05:18 PM
I'm devastated
by Shilohsmom. 05/02/22 05:34 PM
Stay at Home Projects
by Woodreb. 08/15/20 12:46 AM
Rosa's Hello old Friends, continued part 2
by Wisc.Tiger_Val. 01/13/15 03:49 PM
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