So I have been really trying hard to read a lot more training books for Niko's reactivity, and I'm LOVING so much of what I have read from positive trainers. Whenever I find something good, I will post it on my FB for other people to read. And I share a lot of the positive dog training tidbits I come across. In summary, I present myself as a positive dog training advocate.

Well, I had a reality check this morning and it upset me. I was running with Niko like normal. He was at heel on my left, at my side like a good boy. Out of nowhere he catches a scent to the right of us and breaks heel, coming around behind me. He bumped my left leg, which then caused my foot to hook behind my right leg. I have no idea how I didn't faceplant, it certainly wasn't my natural grace which saved me.

In a split second I was LIVID!! I yelled out "Jesus!!!" and I whirled on him and stuck my finger in his face and said "Don't!!" He literally cowered down in front of me.

So I just started running again and he came back to my side and we finished the run but I was still really, really angry. And I kept thinking to myself, why am I still so mad? It's not like he meant to trip me. It's not like he can apologize. If that had been Don who accidentally tripped me, I might have been mildly irritated but I would not still be pissed off two miles later. And I doubt I taught him not to sniff stuff when we are running, or even to not bump me if he changes position. I probably just taught him that I am a scary unpredictable psycho.

I'm just disappointed in myself. It's like I learned in the beginning one way of dog training (I have to be large and in charge) and instead of evolving into a method I prefer, in an instant I revert back to the kind of "Why how dare you!!" kind of mindset. Which is stupid and anthropomorphising, etc. And it's not just been in the react-don't think kind of situations like today, it has been with his sits too. He has a really slow sit now, he never used to. But I have been taking it personally, like he's doing it slowly because he doesn't want to sit for me anymore. And then I read people say how a slow sit is like no sit at all, in obedience terms. Which makes me think about the very name Obedience, and how it sets a person up to think of these "tricks" as something which must be done in order for the dog to prove fealty to the owner, or something like that.

I don't know. I just wish I had learned the positive methods first so I wouldn't have to re-learn how to train my dogs.

Don't worry about it - nobody's perfect, you're not a hypocrite. When Halo muzzle punched me in the face during an over exuberant greeting hard enough that I thought she might have broken my nose, I was mad. She HURT me! She didn't mean to, it wasn't intentional. I knew that, but it was hard not to take it personally at first.

One incident is not going to destroy your training or your relationship with him.

I am very happy there is no video of my grabbing Havoc by the scruff and lifting him off his feet and screaming at him the last time he grabbed my arm and almost sent me to the ER. It happens. I am not proud of it and I cried when I realized what I had done. I had simlpy lost it because he hurt me - again. He had no understanding of that.

With the sits maybe consider exuberant praise every time he sits on his own. Perhaps it will carry over. Increse your reward level. Cross over dogs are tough, it is hard to undo some of that entrenched behavior and sometimes they do not get much faster.

If he was trained to sit with compulsion originally, sit may be causing him stress. Can you change the word and retrain it from scratch? It is not personal and it is not a personal commentary on you or your relationship with him.

Sorry you got tripped up, I was thinking as I started reading this that you fell and hurt yourself and I was thinking of how much my bad spill hurt me 2 months ago. Havoc was involved as we running agility but it sure was not his fault and thankfully I did not get angry at him. I did think about it.

I'm glad to see that some of us (me included) have reactivity issues. We always talk about dogs with reactivity but sometimes it's us as the owners that react without thinking. It is normal to yell or get mad about something silly that they didn't mean to do. I stopped home for lunch today and let the dogs out. It had been raining since yesterday. Of course when I went to let Luke in and clean his feet on the towel Raven snuck in too. Her feet were wet and muddy and she parades all over my kitchen floor. I yelled "no, no on the towel" repeatedly. She had no idea what my problem was and what she had done wrong. I could actually see the confusion on her face and then felt bad. I guess I will be steam mopping the floor this weekend.

I am the world's biggest advocate of positive training-- after I've had my coffee. First thing in the morning, before coffee, if the dog accidentally hurts me. . . I am evil evil. The good thing is that in that state I'm not coordinated enough to actually get my hands on a dog, so my effect is limited to cursing.

It happens...I just got nailed in the face by Vigo the other morning. He was acting wild ( a problem we have in the morning) and when I bent to scold him, he jumped up. I flipped my lid, because it HURT!

I know there is a way to multi-quote, but I'm not seeing it so forgive me...

One incident is not going to destroy your training or your relationship with him.

I would like to say that in the nearly three years I have had Niko that this was the one and only time I have ever lost my shiznit with him, but that would be a lie. It's the first time in a long time though. Mostly been it's pretty good since he's been leaving the cats alone and not barking at phantom noises in the house.

It makes me feel better to see that other people make mistakes too. I guess I just assume that everyone has better self control than I do!



With the sits maybe consider exuberant praise every time he sits on his own. Perhaps it will carry over. Increse your reward level. Cross over dogs are tough, it is hard to undo some of that entrenched behavior and sometimes they do not get much faster.

If he was trained to sit with compulsion originally, sit may be causing him stress. Can you change the word and retrain it from scratch? It is not personal and it is not a personal commentary on you or your relationship with him.

I think going back and re-training the sit is a good idea, although we didn't use compulsion to train it originally. I also just had a thought that maybe he is getting confused because I think Don will often (but not always) say "sit down" and I just say "sit", although we both use the same hand signal. I asked Don if he was getting slow sits with Niko and he said no, except when Niko is waiting to be unleashed he is slow to sit because he's really excited. I think I would get quick sits if I put him in the mindset of doing OB work. Like requesting a series of behaviors would cue him in "I know this game!!" and I bet he would rocket into a sit. But if we were on a leash walk and I stopped and told him to sit, he may or may not even do it. That happened this morning. I wanted him to sit off to the side when a car went by and although he moved to where I pointed, he just stood and watched the car. Normally he will sit (slow sit) and watch me as the car goes by (and he gets treats, that's how I trained him not to lunge at passing cars), but not today. But maybe I was still putting off angry vibes over the tripping incident.


I feel a little bit better about it now. I'm still disappointed that I reacted that way (Linda, that is a good way to describe it, I am reactive!). But I unloaded on Don and he said, "Poop happens, move on."

Raising my hand as part of the, uh, club here, and also not proud of it.

We do take them as a reflection of us, and sometimes we do take it personally. Sometimes, it's hard to remember that they are who they are, and we shape them, but we don't change the core of who they are in most cases. Sometimes we can suppress it with compulsion, but I would rather shape it through more positive methods.

The slow sit, would also consider joint issues. Max hasn't wanted to sit the last couple of days. He twisted something in his back I think...

Don't be too hard on yourself.

Dogs don't think about intent like we do. Watch two dogs together. They will correct each other even if it is an accident. It doesn't matter. They are cause and effect.

That being said, I think we all lose it from time to time. If not, "I'm sorry" wouldn't need to be in our vocabulary. The "Sorry" you give to a dog is clear, consistent communication whether you choose to be positive or use corrections.

Leah, I lose my "shiznit" on occasion and I'm not proud of that. I live with two very rowdy dogs - one of whom is so loud that it gives me a headache sometimes - and the other who is an incessant chewer (only 10 mos. old)!! Sammy's a talker (and a sasser), but he just can't seem to do it in a soft voice. If I lose my cool, I'll stew about it for a long time - far longer than they are affected by it... I really don't have a quick temper, but when someone hurts you or knocks you into a wall, or about knocks you down the stairs when you're carrying the laundry basket, etc., etc., etc., it's more of a reaction and sometimes very hard to control. I always tell myself to count to 10, but then when something happens, that goes right out of my head! We're all human...

Please do not feel bad. I am easily as reactive as Risa is and, unfortunately, no one is working on my behavior modification to the high-level that I work on hers. (I am trying, though. Harder to work on your own problems. . .)

Just today, I did a similar thing with Risa. To say I've been a bit down lately would be an understatement and Ri often ends up on the receiving end. We were out walking and she usually is at the end of her 6 foot leash in front of me or slightly off to the side. For whatever reason, she was walking close behind me and I tripped and stumbled on the leash. I yelled at her and pulled on the leash to move her over to the side and out of my way. Was it her fault I tripped? Sort of. . .but she doesn't know that. Should I have gotten so upset with her? Nope. But I'm human. She still loves me anyway.

Honestly, it's just like in training. If the number of good experiences outweigh the bad, the dog feels like whatever it is is an overall GOOD thing. Don't sweat it.

Hey at least you didn't kick your dog HARD in the ribs last night like I did! I was getting ready for bed and went back downstairs to get something. The lights were already off. I had a light on upstairs and the rug in my living room downstairs is dark brown. My eyes didn't adjust fast enough to the darkness and I accidentally kicked Coke so hard! I felt so bad, I was following him around apologizing but he kept walking away from me and jumped into DH's lap.

Gosh, I would sure hope Niko doesn't have joint issues. His hip x-rays were just about perfect and he's on a joint supplement to boot. He does have a healing abrasion on his back foot from a couple days ago, but it has scabbed up and doesn't seem to be bothering him at all. I guess it's possible, but Don gets quick sits out of him (and I had him show me to prove it). Although, I was surprised to see that Niko was slow to do Down for Don, which brings me back to thinking that there is indeed some confusion in regards to Don using "Sit Down" as a command.

Amy, you are right, I have seen Rosa give Niko the what for more than a few times! She's probably even scarier than I am.

This is why I like Don, doesn't over think it!

Leah, unless you have been secretly kicking his backside or hips regularly, I doubt he has any medical problem. Sometimes I think it’s just tone of voice. I know when I’ve gone through the exercises day in and day out, it becomes rather routine for me, and I don’t doubt that it shows in my voice. Yes, I get excited and laugh and snort and carry on, but I would think they can pick up on the purely routine tone too. Whereas, Don probably doesn’t train them nearly as much as you do, so when he does give them a command, his voice is a change of pace and probably also a little more crisp.

You might have to go back to tossing in a few “sits” in the middle of exuberant play times or suddenly on a leisurely walk – any time that would change the routine and come unexpectedly. I think you will see a difference in his response because of the difference in your tone. Slow sits, unfortunately, are the fault of the trainer, IMO.

Oops, just realized I got waaay off topic! If we were to keep score on the "I'm sorrys" with our dogs, we would be the 'sorry' losers, but thank goodness, they live in the present and don't even remember our knee-jerk responses!

Oh Jan, I think you have a good point on the sits. I think I have taken all the fun out of sits for him, somehow. I have been using it to gauge his "biddability", for lack of a better term. Why, I don't know. I'm not sure being able to command an instant sit at random necessarily makes me a good trainer, and I'm not sure why I was feeling like I should have that kind of control over him. I think if I made it fun again, I might see more responsiveness from him.

Leah, I do feel you should be able to command a sit at any time, and not just for fun. Perhaps you have to go back and train him in fun if that is what works for both of you, but eventually it has to get serious. Just as an example, what if he were chasing something - anything - and were about to run onto a highway and the only thing you could think to yell was "SIT!"? It could mean the difference between instant behavior and a tragedy.

Granted, that is extreme, but why train at all if the end result isn't control - meaning, the dog does what you want?

To stop the confusion in my house because I have a DH that does the "Sit - Down" is I don't use the down command for any thing.

Paws on counter or hanging on a gate - - OFF

Sit is Sit or Sitz / Sitz is my more formal and I want to see quick action.

Lay down is - - Settle (means find a comfortable spot and chill) - - Platz is that belly better be hitting the ground right now.

I use formal and informal commands. Since I am around my dogs all the time, I don't always feel like they need to be at the top of their OB performance so I use the informal commands, but if I change the tone of my voice they get the message that she means NOW.

Stop = Stop trying to make up / apologize to your dog. Check over for injuries and a pat on the head or shoulder should do. If you go over board, the dog is confused, what the heck is she doing???

When I was on vacation, and there was no mud, Rocco and I were playing in the yard and he was jumping up at me. I was laughing, we were having a good time, and you know...he's got hops. So he bounced up way higher than I thought he might - so I kept my big noggin right there, and he hit me in the nose so hard I thought it was going to kill me. And the poor dog, I was like RAWR OWWWW GAHHHH SOBISCUITS AAAAAAAAH and he ran, the other dogs stopped whatever they were doing, like when they show all the forest animals looking up in movies...

I do have to say, most of my dogs are very forgiving of being bumped or jostled 9x out of 10, but if something really hurts, then they do that kind of thing too.

I think Don is right on. Pack members tell each other off/correct each other all the time and then they move on. Try not to be so hard on yourself. Geesh...we humans can be so ape-like at times!

You are not a hypocrite. You are doing your best to have a relationship with another species and there is going to be mistakes on both sides. It is part of learning and growth.
Dogs can intuit the difference between missteps by loving owners. That is why they are so forgiving and ready to try again. The mistakes they make, the ones we make, the forgiveness and can deepen the relationship.

This is mostly me too. I gave up telling Brad than off is not down.

Leah I think Niko has the best mum, your love for him is evident in all you post so a random moment is not going to effect him. I know I have had moments too and yet my Moo still adores me! Silly dog

Thanks guys, I appreciate the advice and kind words. I do love Niko so much! But I want him to love me back, lol! So I worry when I don't treat him fairly. I'm probably thinking of him in human terms. I should try to stop doing that! I'll lay down the law with Don about using the same verbal cues, I think we started out being very consistent, but over the last year we have gotten careless (and lazy).

Leah, not all dogs personalities are kissy huggy type. I know my Cheyenne loves me, but on a rare and I do mean rare occasion she will give me a kiss. She will snuggle some times. But that doesn't mean she doesn't love me, we just don't have that kissy type relationship. She will drench other people with kisses, just not me. It use to bother me, but it doesn't any more because I know we have a good relationship. Raya is a bit more on kisses, but would be content to sit in my lap all day long.

Niko is pretty affectionate. He likes to give kisses and be petted (although not hugged, and there are lots of times when he would rather play than be petted!) but he'll always come over and lean into me if I crouch down. Niko and Rosa are my first dogs ever, in my whole life!! So I don't know how to know if they really like me, lol! I'm dog-illiterate. I always hear that dog's love is unconditional, but I have always felt suspicious of that phrase. I just don't see how that is possible.

Risa's my first dog too. And she is not cuddly. She's gotten a bit moreso as time has gone on but she really doesn't want to. I have no doubt she loves me. But she just doesn't show it by climbing into my lap and dozing off for hours while I stroke her. That's just the way she is.

I'm sure Niko loves you too. Dogs are awesome like that.

They live in the now...so by the time you were still steaming 2 miles ahead of the incident, that was long gone and forgiven, and what the smells were swirling around at the moment were much more interesting than the past spasm miles ago.

We over think most things, and would do well to learn to live more in the moment.